Sunday, September 18, 2005

Too-Much-Acid Man

Big depressive week. Head like a bag of flies. Inexplicable bumbling incompetence during the completion of simple tasks. If I were less of a bastard, it might be seen as savant-type absent-mindedness, but I'm afraid I make myself unsympathetic.

The number of bars I have been to in the past week: two.

The number of drinks I have had in the past week: uncountable.

MTA, remarkably, has been not indecent to me, and I rank my last few rides as Conditions White-to-Silver. That reminds me. Here ya go:

Nashville MTA Rating System:

Condition White: Efficient smooth riding, each person with their own row of seats.

Condition Silver: People have to sit next to one another. Several people have difficulty operating the coin-depository and we are unnecessarily held up. Bus breakdown, detour, and lateness of schedule may also qualify the trip for Condition Silver.

Condition Charcoal-Grey: Condition Silver, plus an annoying person who insists on talking to me the whole way. Or: standing-room only with relatively cheery and well-bathed crowd.

Condition Black: Standing room only. Crowd surly, human gas emissions in atmosphere 700,000-plus parts per million. Neck and back damage caused by lurching.

Condition Bullshit: Condition Black, plus something gets spilled on my clothing, and/or someone knocks me over, and/or I have to shout at the bus driver to allow me off the bus at my regular stop, and he/she
still travels on an extra block or two.

There. Chuckle at that, my invisible friends. And also chuckle at this little tribute to my University days:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home